In my yoga class there is a woman who I always thought was a happy and nice person. I didn’t know her, but she was always smiling. So, one day I happened to have my mat placed next to hers and I started up a conversation.
Well, my idea that she was a happy person was shattered as she let out a series of complaints that would have kept any customer service rep busy for days. And what was even weirder, was that she kept smiling the entire time she was complaining. “Good God,” I thought to myself, “this is a real life Joker.” (Reference to the Batman movie and TV shows where the character of the Joker always smiled while he created bedlam for Gotham City and Batman.)
When she finally took a breath, I made a casual remark that at least yoga may help to alleviate some of her discomfort and pain for a while. She replied, “Oh, I’m not in pain. I just do yoga for the exercise. I like to complain and whine. It’s what I do.”
I responded, “Well, there ya go. I guess the good thing then is knowing that no one will try and take your complaining away from you!” She agreed.
Luckily, class started and I could let that conversation float out of my mind. Yet, there are many people who enjoy their pain. They whine and moan about their health, relationships, politics, neighbors, etc.
Rarely do they ever NOT complain. They hold on to it their pain like they were life’s merit badges and therefore show them to others via the constant stream of verbal pollution they spew on anyone who will listen.
No one will take their pain from them – not that they would allow that to happen, anyway. No one will take away your pain if you feel like you NEED to hold on to it; if you feel that you NEED to show others how much you’re suffering.
There is an old saying, “Pain is sometimes necessary; suffering is always an option.” I think you can suffer a little bit IF something is painful. And while “a little bit” is relative, it’s not to hard to figure out when enough is enough.
If you want to hold on to your pain, then I guess you can do so – even though it serves no one but your ego. However, it does push others away – except those who enjoy seeing you in pain. (Think about that for a moment or two. If there are people in your life who like to hear you whine and complain, there is a reason they do this and it generally is not because they REALLY care. I wonder what they say about you when you’re not around. Hmmmm.)
But I digress, with regard to dealing with pain, a better solution is to, if possible, find the source, examine it, learn from it and deal with it. Try to eliminate the pain as quickly and easily as possible then move on with your life.